3 Ways to Deal with Judgment
Think about a moment when you judge someone… You either didn’t like the way she/he talked or the way she/he treated you. Or you saw someone on social media and thought about how fake she is, or you saw the news and felt angry about that politician… Whatever that is. Think about how you feel in those moments. Now, if you found one memory of judgment in your mind, feel how you feel or how you felt when you were judging that person…
When we judge we are in a place of separation, when we judge we are in the lowest vibration there is.
Let’s take a look at more scientifically what happens when we judge:
Based on studies, “The more you judge others, the more you judge yourself. By constantly seeing the bad in others, we train our minds to find the bad. This can lead to an increase in stress. Stress can weaken the immune system and cause high blood pressure, fatigue, depression, anxiety, and even stroke.”
On the other hand, joy is the greatest vibration we can feel. We all have easy access to it.
Here is what happens when we feel joy:
Again based on studies, “We feel joy in our bodies because of the release of dopamine and serotonin, two types of neurotransmitters in the brain. Both of these chemicals are heavily associated with happiness.”
So how can you deal with judgment and be more joyful?
Here are 3 ways to deal with your judgment that I learned from my dear spiritual teacher Gabrielle Bernstein.
- See them as a family member
Do you have someone in your life you judge?
If there is someone in your life that is causing you drama, think about how you feel when you see that person. Think about what happens in your body when you are in the presence of that person… It’s not a perfect feeling, is it?
What you are doing is that you’re just biting yourself and suffering from the feeling of judgment. And you’re not taking responsibility for your own happiness and joy because you’re in a place of separation not in peace and love.
Joy is the ultimate creator! But when we are in a place of separation and judgment, we are in the lowest vibration there is. If you want to live a life with ease, then you probably don’t want to feel this way.
So let’s think about the person you’ve been judging and just say I choose to see them as a sister, brother, I choose to see them as a mother, father. You’ll recognize the energy you’re feeling starts to change and you no longer experience that frustration and suffer from it. Can you do that? It might be hard at the beginning but when you practice this, you’ll be rewarded with peace and joy :) Seeing others through the lens of love is your first step. We are ONE.
2. Recognize the other person is YOU.
This is the hard one. You can judge others easily but can you judge yourself with the same bitterness? Ummm.. probably not.
Unfortunately, humans are so focused on what happens around them but inside of them! Interestingly enough, what you judge in others is more likely what you don’t like about YOUrself! The things you judge about others are sometimes the disowned part of your own shadow… If you are willing to see, you could recognize that the wound could be your wound. The recovery of another person is your recovery and the story is your story.
This is very deep inner work so take your time when you do this step. Don’t rush into it or don’t feel bad about yourself. We all are spirits having a human experience in this world. Take that in…
When you feel ready, I challenge you to start to look at the people whom you’ve been judging and try to see them as YOU. Try to see the person who disappointed you terribly, try to recognize them as YOU. Try to practice that moment and say this prayer “Thank you for helping me to see myself in them, thank you for helping me recognize that the disowned parts of my shadow are just merely being reflected back to me.”
At that moment, you choose to have a different experience with others by seeing them as a “Great Divine Universal Assignment”, as a mirror reflection of the darker parts of you that are still unhealed. And that’s when you begin to light your soul up. That’s also when you become free in your relationships and transform your fear of relationships into faith in relationships.
You finally begin to see people in their truth and their truth is your truth, Satnam. The word Sat means “true/everlasting” and Nam means “name”. In this instance, this would mean, “whose name is truth”. Satnam is referred to God as the Name of God is True and Everlasting.
And we see that truth at that moment when we notice ourselves in them.
3. See it for the first time
This is a fun one. 🙂
Seeing them for the first time. Think about how you feel when you meet someone for the first time. You’re curious to get to know them. You want to see the beauty in them and you have no judgments at the very beginning because you are making a new friend there.
The good news is, we all have the opportunity to see people for the first time and we can do it anytime. To see and recognize the other person for the first time means you see their innocence and see them as a sister, see them as a brother. Most importantly soften all of the stories, background, dramas, and all of the chaos. How? It begins with this prayer “I choose to see for the first time I choose to see you in your innocence.”
Judgment is something we cannot escape as humans. It can appear at any period of your life but you can control how you react to it. So my hope is that you can apply these ways to your life to create more peace and JOY!
Remember JOY is the ultimate creator and it is the highest vibration you can have.
Have a life full of JOY!
